The late Congressman Henry Hyde once said this on the floor of the House of Representatives: “There is a story that goes around in my hometown, Chicago. It says, Bury me when I die in Chicago because I want to stay active in politics after I am gone.” That joke, which dates back at least to political comedian Mort Sahl, has been applied to other jurisdictions as well, including Arizona. It’s a funny line and has the ring of truth, given Chicago’s history of creative political shenanigans. But it’s only a joke.
Or is it? In recent years many Republicans and conservatives have tried to weaponize what should only be a funny line in a malicious attempt to strip away the voting rights of people they fear will support their political rivals. The political right has been flogging the baseless “voter fraud” meme for so long that I usually disregard it as white noise unworthy of a response. But since the most recent example of this lie appeared in the Southern Arizona News Examiner, where this column runs, I owe it to readers to set the record straight.
That article, which originally ran in the Heritage Foundation’s propaganda sheet, The Daily Signal, contains 899 words and zero substance. The author, Washington lawyer Joanne Young, endorsed President Donald Trump’s demand for an investigation into alleged “vote fraud.” She noted Trump’s complaint that some voters are registered in more than one state and some of the names on voter registration rolls are of dead people. This is the same President who declared that “nobody knew that health care could be so complicated.” God knows what he’ll do if someone spills the beans about Santa.
Like The Birdies Sing
In 1932, songwriters Sydney Edmund Tolchard Evans, Stanley Damerell, Robert Hargreaves, and Harry Tilsley wrote a silly little ditty that became a hit at the time and has endured in American culture. The song, “Let’s All Sing like the Birdies Sing,” is familiar to anybody who has visited Walt Disney’s Enchanted Tiki Room – and possibly found it an annoying earworm for hours after the visit. The lyrics start this way:
Let’s all sing like the birdies sing,
Tweet, tweet tweet, tweet tweet.
In 2017 that song should replace “Hail to the Chief” as the Presidential Anthem. Our new President, who bears a disturbing resemblance to a giant canary, has been tweet, tweet tweet, tweet tweeting his way through his presidency, usually from the bowels of pre-dawn sleeplessness. While that might not be a good way to govern – it isn’t – or an effective way to communicate – it isn’t –tweeting is his favorite mode of expression.
The President may be the most famous American canary since Tweety, an iconic presence in Warner Brothers Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies cartoons. The little yellow fellow starred in 47 of them and adults and kids alike could recite his signature line: “I tawt I taw a putty tat. I did! I did!” For some reason Warner Brothers and Mel Blanc thought it endearing to inflict Tweety with a speech impediment, so what he was actually saying was: “I thought I saw a pussy cat. I did! I did!”
What is it about canaries and pussies? Consider and compare the two most famous American canaries:
Tweety Bird: “I thought I saw a pussy cat. I did! I did!”
Tweety Trump: “I thought I’d grab a pussy. I did! I did!”
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