The Magic Medicine Show

Musical Intro:

♫ Did you take hydroxychloroquine today?
Bang the drum!
Did you take hydroxychloroquine today?
Bang the drum!
If you take hydroxychloroquine
Your lungs and guts will be so clean
So, take hydroxychloroquine today!
Bang the drum! ♫

ANNOUNCER: One America Network and Info Wars proudly present Dr. Donny John’s Magic Medicine Show. The place for simple answers for simple people. Are you tired of all those elitist scientists and doctors on TV? Are you sick of them telling you how to live your life? If so, this is the place for you. Dr. Donny John’s Magic Medicine Show is sponsored by the Karachi Kompounding Pharmacy. Off-label? Heck, we invented off-label! And now, the star of our show, the man who understands you better than you understand yourself, Dr. Donny John!

DDJT: Thank you, Alex. And thank you to all of our viewers and listeners. I’m Doctor Donny John Trump. Here with me today are my lovely wife, Melanie…

MELANIA: Melania.

DDJT: Melania. Also joining me is my lovely daughter, Ivanka, and my brilliant son-in-law, Jared. I have a question for everybody: Did you take hydroxychloroquine today? If not, get up right now and go take it. Take it! What do you have to lose? Hydroxychloroquine is the wonder drug we have all been waiting for. Coronavirus? No problem. Socialism? Cures that too. Elitists? They hate it. Want to annoy a liberal? Take hydroxychloroquine in front of them. Record a video and post it on our web page, “Dosing with Doctor Donny John.” How many videos have been posted, Ivanka?

IVANKA: I don’t know, Daddy.

DDJT: Doctor.

IVANKA: Doctor. I meant to say Doctor. I don’t know how many videos have been posted. I think Jared knows.

JARED: Actually, the website’s not yet operational, but there will be thousands of videos once we get it rolling. I have the best people working on it.

DDJT: Ivanka, have you taken your hydroxychloroquine today?

IVANKA: Yes, Dadd—uh, Doctor.

DDJT: Jared? Have you taken your hydroxychloroquine today?

JARED: Yes sir, Doctor Donny John. Right after breakfast.

DDJT: Melania, have you taken your hydroxychloroquine today?

MELANIA: Go to hell.

DDJT: Ha-ha, what a kidder. Alex, where can our friends order hydroxychloroquine?

ANNOUNCER: You can order hydroxychloroquine from our sponsor, the Karachi Kompounding Pharmacy. Need a prescription? No problem. We have doctors standing by 24 hours a day. All of them are specially certified to prescribe hydroxychloroquine. Orders filled quickly and shipped immediately. Just call them at 1-800-367-4648. That’s 1-800-DOSING-U. Don’t wait. Call right now. 1-800-DOSING-U.

DDJT: Thank you, Alex. We have that number on speed dial. I’ve been taking hydroxychloroquine for days now. I mean weeks. I’ve been taking it for weeks. Not only have I avoided catching COVFEFE-19, I feel better generally. Believe it or not, I’ve gotten happier since I started taking hydroxychloroquine. Frankly, I feel super. Melania, you’ve seen a difference, haven’t you?

MELANIA: Yes, Donald, you’re as happy as boiled cabbage. And did you know hydroxychloroquine has an extra special effect on the heart? You should double your dosage. You’ll not only feel super, you’ll feel super-duper. That’s a medical term.

DDJT: I know. I know a lot about medicine. People say I have an aptitude.

ANNOUNCER: Doctor Donny John, we have a caller on line 9.

DDJT: Caller, go ahead.

CALLER: Good morning, Doctor Donny John. I can’t believe I actually got through! This is like a dream, speaking directly to the Doctor God Emperor. I’m so glad God made you President.

MELANIA: The Lord works in mysterious ways.

DDJT: Shut up, Melania. Caller, do you have a question?

CALLER: Yes, sir. I know the coronavirus was created by deep state traitors and liberals and socialists and Communists and George Soros to undermine your presidency. You told us that hydroxychloroquine will cure it, and even prevent us from getting it. But can hydroxychloroquine do anything about the source? I mean, can hydroxychloroquine cure the deep state and get rid of the traitors?

DDJT: That’s a great question, caller. Yes, hydroxychloroquine will help us get rid of the deep state, Democrats, liberals, socialists and members of the lesser races. If they take it, they will get sick and die. All those people the fake news media keep telling us have gotten sick or died? They were liberals, socialists, Democrats, deep state traitors and undesirables. Hydroxychloroquine gets rid of them. So, get them to take it. That’s the beauty of hydroxychloroquine. It gets rid of undesirables, but protects my followers. Every American who loves liberty should take hydroxychloroquine every day. It’s the drug that will save the country.

CALLER: That’s a miracle! I’m going to call the Karachi Kompounding Pharmacy right now and order a case of hydroxychloroquine. I’ll take a double dose for myself and will slip it to every liberal, Communist, socialist, and deep state traitor who leaves a drink unattended. I want to drain the swamp and Make America Great Again.

DDJT: You are a true patriot.

CALLER: I love you, Doctor Donny John. I want to hug and kiss you!

DDJT: (Throws up in his mouth.) Good, good. Thanks for the call. Well, that’s all the time we have today. Until we meet again, keep the faith, drain the swamp, keep America great, and remember our slogan: Hydroxy is foxy!

ANNOUNCER: Tune in again next week for “Doctor Donny John’s Magic Medicine Show,” the answer to anything that makes you sick and/or annoyed. Brought to you by the Karachi Kompounding Pharmacy, the world’s greatest hydroxychloroquine dealer. Thank you for watching or listening and always remember: Do what Dr. Donny John tells you to do.

You can trust him. He’s a doctor.

© 2020 by Mike Tully

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