A Whopper of Biblical Proportions
It’s a scene of total destruction. A twisted metal pole sprawls helplessly across a pile of debris. Slabs of concrete and drywall lie splayed about randomly. A lonely red barrel tops a small mountain of what used to be walls, fixtures, and furniture. There are loose wires, severed pipes, and a general air of malaise and devastation. All those visits, all those hours spent with loved ones – gone, utterly gone.
Is this Gaza? Ukraine? The Middle East? A Moscow suburb?
No. It’s what’s left of our neighborhood McDonald’s. By the time I write this, the lot will have been cleared. Don’t let this depress your Happy Meal, though. Like a Phoenix bird, Nixon in 1968, or Donald Trump in bankruptcy court, it will rise again.
My Planet Is Smaller Than Your Planet
The Joy of a Plutonic Relationship
It wasn’t my worst on-the-air gaffe, but might be the funniest. I worked in radio full time from late 1973 through 1977, and part-time occasionally after that. Not everything went as planned. It’s hard to spend hundreds of hours doing live radio without occasionally slipping on a rhetorical banana peel.
When I was Public Affairs Director for KTUC-AM radio, my duties included traveling to the newsroom of the late Tucson Citizen for early morning newscasts. I would read the Citizen’s news copy on the air before the stories hit print. Each newscast began when the studio announcer said something like, “What are today’s headlines?” or “What’s in today’s Tucson Citizen?” I would then lead with a story that would run in print later.
One day, this happened:
Bill (back at the studio): “What’s the latest from the Citizen, Mike?”
Me: “Big news in science, Bill. Astronomers have discovered rings around Uranus.”