Rose: But why would a man need more than one woman?
Johnny: I don’t know. Maybe because he fears death.
Rose: That’s it! That’s the reason!
Johnny: I don’t know…
Rose: No! That’s it! Thank you! Thank you for answering my question!
– “Moonstruck” (1987)
This is a fitting time to remember that Minnesota Senator Al Franken wrote a chapter in his most recent book entitled, “I Screw Up.” Franken was the presiding officer of the Senate during a debate over the nomination of Elena Kagan to the Supreme Court. As Franken listened to what he describes as Senator Mitch McConnell’s “awful, awful speech” criticizing Kagan, he rolled his eyes. Franken called that “a huge breach of Senate protocol, which I compounded by shaking my head once or twice and, worse, smirking at stuff I found particularly objectionable.” The presiding officer is the most visible person in the Senate chamber and McConnell was aware of Franken’s shenanigans. He marched to the dais after his remarks and warned Franken that he would call him out publicly if it happened again. Franken felt awful, awful. Like he does now.
I thought about Franken’s “I Screw Up” story when I saw the photograph of him groping at the breasts of a sleeping Leeann Tweeden…
Binding Our Tongues
Whoever controls the media, controls the mind.
― Jim Morrison
Imagine ESPN is televising the Arizona-Arizona State football game. A camera zooms in on an ASU fan wearing a Sun Devil mask and, since the game is in Tucson, the announcer says, “That mask won’t make any friends in that crowd!” Suddenly, a policeman pounces on the peaceful Sun Devil fan and arrests him as ESPN cuts to commercial. The cop declares the Sun Devil mask was “unacceptable attire” in Arizona Stadium and the fan is charged with a felony. Could this actually happen? Yes, if Republican State Representative Jay Lawrence has his way.
Lawrence is behind HB2007, which would make the behavior described above a felony. It would be “unlawful for a person to wear a disguise … while participating in” four specific situations: commission of a public offense; or during a “civil protest,” “political event,” or “public event.” The crime would be a class six felony unless the disguise is for a “business related purpose” or “may generally be viewed as part of acceptable attire.” The Sun Devil mask is unacceptable attire in Arizona Stadium, so take it off, or go to jail. Wear a disguise at any public event and, if someone deems it “unacceptable,” you’re busted. Lawrence, by the way, told Capitol Media Services it would be okay “if someone protesting his views or his legislation shows up at a rally wearing a chicken suit.” The fact he had to say that suggests we have gone over the rainbow.
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